I am not a person who let's many events affect affect me. Sure I remember 9/11, but I honestly can say I didn't get emotional about it. I don't know if it just seemed like a movie, or maybe it was that I didn't know anyone that was directly affected by it. I also at that point in time had never been to New York and realized how massive the buildings were. What I'm trying to say is that I never lost any sleep or the major tragedies that have occurred in my lifetime. It's not that I didn't care or wasn't saddened for the people involved.......it always just seemed surreal and that I was desensitized to it.
However, Monday April 15 2013 at around 2:30pm, all that changed. You all know the story of the two explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon and have seen the gruesome video and photos splattered across newspapers, magazines, and the internet so I will not go into those details again. Since This happened I have felt a pit in my stomach that I haven't ever had before and a great sadness that I only recall having after my uncles passing. I haven't been able to eat much and have just felt disconnected to everything the last couple of days. I am not ashamed to say I have cried so many times the last couple of days....more than I ever have possibly.
I had been training to run a Marathon this past summer and was planning on trying to qualify for this years Boston Marathon. I don't know if I would have actually ran it, but I think some of my family members may have tried to push me to do so. When I did run the Marathon in 2010 My wife and her parents had an amazing time(as did I) and I don't think anyone had a better time tan my father in law. He tells everyone how great a city Boston is and all about the day of the race and how they stood amont gsthe Kenyan and Ethiopian fans beneath the flags on Boylston street just maybe 100 meters from the famous finish line.
I looked at pictures that my wife and father in law had taken from the race in 2010 and they were standing right where the explosion happened this year. They had both said if I ran again they would stand in the same spot with the rest of my family who couldn't make it in 2010. This is what has really bothered me...What if I had qualified and ran? What could have happened to my family or even myself?
I can not express the sadness I feel for all of those affected by this senseless cowardly act. Every single person injured was completely innocent and that was all taken away from them. Thousands of runners have had there day of glory completely tarnished forever by this. Some runners may never have the chance to run the Boston Marathon again, some may choose never to run it again because of this incident.
I will now wear my Boston Marathon clothing even prouder and in support of all those affected by this. It will not stop me from wanting to run the Marathon again. If anything I want to run it even more and show these cowards that runners are a strong group. We run for charity, we run in memory of loved ones, we run to be healthy, we run because we love it, and we run to support one another. Runners are a very close and friendly and dedicated group. I know everyone I met while in Boston has been on my mind these last couple days and will always be. I will always think about this tragedy whenever I go for a run as long as I live. This tragedy has made my passion for running grow even stronger and I want to more than ever run the Boston again and run for the victims and all the people who had a part in this tragedy.
I know in my heart that Boston will rise up and be stronger than ever because of this.
Even the smallest light shines in the darkness